They show up in a minivan. The ringleader descends, gives a few words of instruction, and sends them off in twos, Bible tucked under their arms, filled with literature to convert the wicked. The JWs start with a smile, and then launch a practiced introductory line.

JW: “Nice day for (whatever I’m doing at the moment). I bet you have some questions about the Bible, don’t you? Things that were never quite explained to you.”

“No, not really. I don’t read it anymore, or have any questions about it.”

JW:“Why don’t you read the Bible?,” and draws a deep breath.

“I didn’t find it helpful.”

JW: “Would you mind if I read a bit of the Bible and prayed with you,” nodding toward the door.

“Yes, I mind. I’m not interested in doing that.”

JW:“Would you mind if I left some literature?”

“Well, you can if you want, but I won’t read it. I’ll just stick it in the trash. And I don’t want you to be wasting it. So I really would rather not take it.”

JW: “Won’t you just look at it?”

“No. So, you’ll probably just want to hold onto it. I’m Buddhist, and I’m quite sure I won’t be looking at it.”

Long pause.

JW: “What’s a Buddhist? I’ve never run across a Buddhist before.”

“The Buddha looked around the world, saw an amazing amount of suffering, and found and taught a way to go beyond that suffering.”

JW: “Were you ever a Christian? If so, I can understand why you might have left the church, because of all the hypocrites in it and all.”

“The hypocrites never bothered me. I just didn’t find Christianity to be true. So, I kept searching until I found something that worked for me. If Christianity works for you, and you’ve found something that meets your needs, I’m very glad for you. I just didn’t find it to be true at all for me.”

JW: “Well, um. What do Buddhists do?”

“I meditate among other things, and tell the truth, live honestly, try to help my fellow man, etc.”

JW: “Well, this is …. A Buddhist?”

About this time, the ringleader starts motioning frantically to attract their attention to get them back to the van, where the others, looking a bit rejected, have gathered to mount a new assault on the next block.

“Nice talking with you.”

JW: “Have a good day,” walking off with a bit of bewilderment on their faces.