Recently a couple of incidents underscored that equanimity is a practice rather than an endpoint. Prior to this, I had viewed it as an eventual result of practice — rather than a practice itself.

The first occasion was a mind storm while running. It was the usual gloomy doom musings of the mind that show up now and then. Like a gathering thunderstorm where the clouds and cooling sweep of the wind spawn ever increasing condensation and precipitation, thoughts swept through consciousness finding signs of impending calamity everywhere. As I realized what was happening, I also realized I had choice about the matter. I could indulge this runaway train of thought sounding its horn of urgency or I could deliberately choose a path of equanimity by focusing on what I was actually doing. With some effort I chose to pay attention to the moment, the natural setting of the run, the breath as it changed cadence in response to variations in slope and pace.

A day or two later, I found myself facing mounting uncertainty that again brought forth the instinctive mental flood of thoughts and emotions to counteract the unpleasantness. It again occurred to me that I could attempt equanimity instead. By equanimity, I don’t mean passivity, apathy, lack of interest, or some sort of naive Pollyannish “everything will work out” affirmation. Equanimity meant that I could deliberately back away from the stampeding thoughts, take the big picture view, and see the situation for what it was, and accept that in samsara things might really not end up well. It took some effort to not accept the clamor of “helpful” scenarios and responses swamping my attention, but somewhat to my surprise, it could be done. I could choose this path.

The insight that has seemed to stick with me is that one can choose to cultivate and strengthen the mental practice of equanimity. Thus it is a practice like any other that is strengthened by skillful effort and repetition until it becomes ingrained as an attribute of the mind. Waiting for equanimity as a destination is probably just wrong view.